We grow long beards! And if we can’t grow ’em, we “knit” ’em. Oh my. So embarrassing.
Can you believe this? I am completely mortified and yet somehow proud! Do you realize the engineering skill that is required when attaching 500 yards worth of weight to a handknit hat???

Posing as an axe murderer….
I know you are asking yourselves, “Why oh why would she waste her valuable knitting time on this ridiculous project?” One of my best friends asked me to make this for her son. I responded emphatically, “Buy one. Seriously. I will not make this for him. BUY IT!” She said it would make him so happy and he really wanted me to make it, blah, blah, blah! This is a friend who would throw herself in front of a bus for me, so I agreed to do it.
Whoa. What a challenge it was. But, it fits and when it is on it is quite comfortable. So, I guess the effort wasn’t a total waste. All that is lost is my dignity!!
PS – If you want the pattern for this creation, NO! Not going to spend another minute even thinking about it!!
Signed, The Bearded Lady!
PS2: My friend loved it and now it is on its way to see what the true recipient thinks.
PS3: The recipient LOVED it, too! Yay!
PS4: Though it may appear otherwise, any resemblance of this hat/beard to a real person living or dead is purely coincidental and is not meant as an homage to any racist, anti-gay reality show faux-lebrities that may have been in the news lately!! 😉
PS5 – the sweater I am wearing is from Interweave Knits Winter 2003: Moorish Patterned Pullover by Norah Gaughan. I believe I knitted it out of Peruvia???

Carl and Pup in Beard Hat